Good things

Lea and Monic. I sold my tent to Lea and she just kept hanging around, liking me and talking on and on, mostly about her hippie self, and not knowing how to open up to the fact that she liked me and wanted me to make a pass at her. Monic, instant kavorka, we just lusted for each other with our eyes. Happened last night.

A lesson that needs to be learned

Not long ago, in October, we had a guest. Pauline. She was a bimbo poser with a Chomsky book. Tattoos. I called her out on her ignorance in a rude and aggressive way, frustrated by her not manifesting IOIs and not falling into my schemata. I was rude, yes.

I have to learn that some people are better left alone when there is indicators that they rather be alone. Nothing to be gained by forcing myself on others. Learn to be subtle, learn to have people enjoy.

I have lingered in her mind, she has written a bad review, but I do not feel I owe her an apology.



Returning to the Sismic

I wonder if the writing/posting interface has improved. It used to be such a hassle, and I hated the app so much that I have not downloaded it again. I am still not a millionaire but many things have changed. I am not sure of the usefullness of writing as a means to keep an adequate journal.

My interpersonal problems, in particular with my mother, are not simple, but I have read a quote that resonantes: “Your problem is not the problem,  your reaction is the problem”.

Money: she’s paying for my dental care and has made the offer to pay for orthodontics. This is a trap. If I were to accept, then it would be 2 years of having to ask her for the money to pay the installments.

Otherwise. current job yealds just enough to pay the rent for the new house and I have not been able to generate additional income to provide for other expenses, making me still dependant for the USD 200 she gives me. On one hand I think: it’s more than right and proper that she should give this money, but on the other hand it accentuates the dependancy and control.

 I Ching. “How should I deal with money and my mom?”

  • Dynamic Hexagram
  • Primary Hexagram
    • Initial or current state. The Abysmal (water).
      • abyss, audition, crime, danger, ears, learning, listen, recklessness, repetition, vertigo.
      • Reflection: Fear leads to inactivity or to escape. But regular exposure to danger can overcome fear, for better or for worse. The advice of a wise person is invaluable. Reckless acts must be avoided.
      • Changing Lines
        • 6 at the beginning: be careful. Whoever despises danger eventually falls into it.
        • 6 at the top: the right way has been missed. bound with chains at the bottom of a dungeon. Misfortune.
  • Secondary Hexagram
    • Describes an idea or situation in the future or final state. Inner Truth.
      • ability, egg, interior, invulnerability, nucleus, safety, seed, shelter, truth, yolk.
      • Reflection: To understand the essence of something, you must pay attention to it’s expression. When the nucleus is reached everything that flows from it is evident. A great undertstanding can be obtained this way.