Well, about me…

When I was around six or seven, which was a long time ago, I had a maddening, nerve wracking, and blissfully intense crush, on a little girl 2 years older than me. Her name was/is Karen Otalora.  She had green eyes.

When I was sixteen I once started walking into the night and did not stop until the break of dawn. I remember that about two hours into it I just started reciting Robert Frost’s “I have been one Acquainted with the Night”, over and over again and for the first time was glad and thankful for having been forced to memorize it in school.

When I was eighteen, in the middle of nowhere, in the army, under a cruel sky, I began to learn the extent of pain and cruelty that dwell in the human heart and mind.  I also recovered hope and found God, or whatever it is that he has grown to mean for me.

At twenty-nine, alone in a little town in the middle of the jungle, next to a river and no electricity, I delivered my first baby.  It was a girl.   I still have a picture taken the morning after in which I’m holding her next to her mom with a big smile on my face.

I got married. Erika. Five years went by. I got divorced.  Loneliness ensued.

Teresa happened. We laughed a lot.  We stopped laughing. Were friends for a while.

At thirty six I was finally through with academia and study, I decided to go into the “real world”.  Had the notion of changing things for the better.

Helena came along and we got on a roller-coaster ride for better or for worse.  Crash landed in Guyana. Had to find my way back.

Politicians, schemes, budgets and interest groups.  Grew  somewhat jaded and very cynical.

I remembered the kid who had walked into the night in search of answers, so I quit everything and decided to find other ways of living life without sacrificing so much.  It’s been three years now, and so far so good.

Bought a motorcycle, began rock climbing, decided to get a blog to write things up once in a while and began rediscovering what people are about.

Ilse smiled at me. I smiled back.  I have to write her name three more times, just because it’s her, “Ilse. Ilse.  Ilse.”

Ilse decides to travel. I decide to stay, and in doing so make it all inconclusively over.

I think that’s about it so far.

Thank you.

Update: Mariel appeared. I love her. We’re making a run for it.


8 thoughts on “Well, about me…

  1. Hi! We crossed blogs earlier today…I liked yours so much, I have nominated you for a Liebster Blog Award. This award is given to blogs with less than 200 followers in the spirit of forging new connections…and along the way, hopefully giving a little recognition where it may be overdue. I think your blog definitely deserves a lot more recognition.

    There are three simple rules that go along with the Liebster Blog Award:

    1. Give a shout out to the blogger who nominated you by linking back to their blog.

    2. Nominate five other blogs that have less than 200 followers. If you can’t tell how many followers they have, no one will set fire to your house for nominating someone who is already plenty popular. At least, I don’t think so…

    3. Spread the good blog karma.

    I might add one little suggestion…let the people you nominated know that you nominated them 🙂

    Don’t forget to add the Liebster Blog Award image to your post!

    Best wishes!

  2. Oh! Just read this and I must thank you althoug more recognition I think might hamper my blogging intentions, posting from anonimity and all.

    Thank you very much and I’ll start looking for people to nominate.

    • Haha!
      Thank you.
      Things with Ilse are moving into the unchartered as we both smile and wave at our respective pasts and probable future in common.

    • Update. We’ve just had a long conversation with Ilse. She wants us to travel throughout December and head to Germany for Christmas. This wasn’t expected and I don’t see it happening, the exiliration of another relationship ending suddenly comes forth, like an abyss calling my name.

    • I’ll take that as a compliment and encouragement, although starting to write about my life in hindsight would give me the foreboding feeling of imminent closure, and that is something I am not ready to assume yet. There is still in me a sense of things yet to come and things to do. Thanks for reading…

    • I have been thinking about this comment. I had initially thought of learning how to write in order to better express ideas and to journal write in a more acceptable manner. Acceptable by who? By the future me, who I intended all this to be for. I will now learn how to write to express ideas and life experiences to and for others. Thank you.

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