Four years seem like a long time…

I’ve been doing things lately. Different things. Some of them exciting or intense, like going out into the mountains in bad weather or starting an affair with a married woman in spite of knowing better; but also more mundane things like catching up on paperwork, reading books and blogs, as well as writing back to old friends.

I had decided to only have friendships with married women because of all the inherent complications that usually ensue if you go further. Sarah has been married for nine years and we met four years ago in work related activities. Hers husband is a jerk and I am in all probability an even bigger jerk, it made sense. We knew something was happening back then but nothing happened in the end since we were very much aware of the inappropriateness of it all. We were both also workaholics that took pride in sleep deprivation and skipping meals. It is also true that back then I was madly in love with Helena and was preparing the ill fated expedition to Guyana, which of course made me solidly faithful to her. Sarah is romantic in an intense and almost existential way, explaining attitudes and actions through what she feels to be love; which is why she found my perceived renouncement to job, predictable income and prestige to go after Helena to be such an admirable action.  I no longer believe in love as a driving force in my life.

Anyhow, while coming out of The Blueberries cafe last week we ran into each other. A coffee appointment was made for a day later. She’s working independently now. A week later I asked her to skip her morning obligations and go moto-riding with me to the countryside. She accepted last minute and we had a good time together. We then rode very fast to get back into the city for her to make it in time to a lunch appointment. She liked that. She texted a week later and asked what I was doing and I answered, “Waiting for you to come over.”  I gave her my address. She came by and I answered the door in a T-shirt and white judo-gi pants.  She understood we weren’t going out and we both stood there looking at each other for a long minute. I pushed her against the wall and kissed her. That’s how that got started. All along I knew it would be trouble but I feel no remorse, four years of wanting someone is a long time. She’s a very fragile woman, strong and delicate; I can feel the weight of her emotions surrounding me when we make love, I can feel them when she tightly closes her arms around my back, as if she was afraid of being swept away by them.

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4 thoughts on “Four years seem like a long time…

  1. I think that what you published was actually very reasonable.
    But, what about this? what if you typed a catchier post title?
    I mean, I don’t want to tell you how to run your blog, but what if you added something to maybe grab people’s attention?
    I mean Four years seem like a long time | Aradic
    Sismic is a little vanilla. You should peek at Yahoo’s front page and watch how they create post headlines to grab viewers interested. You might add a video or a related picture or two to get people excited about what you’ve got to say.

    In my opinion, it might make your posts a little livelier.

    • Thank you for reading and considering it reasonable, that feedback is valuable. As for the rest, attracting readership to this blog is not a priority in any form.

  2. I hardly leave remarks, but i did some searching and
    wound up here Four years seem like a long time | Aradic
    Sismic. And I do have some questions for you if you do not mind.
    Is it simply me or does it appear like some of these remarks appear
    as if they are written by brain dead visitors?
    😛 And, if you are writing at additional online sites, I’d like to keep up with anything new you have to post. Could you make a list of all of your public pages like your twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile?

    • I’m back from the realm of monogamy and trying to make it work. I still have a solid foot on the “making it work part” but the monogamic intention has been put to the test and my mind is already working out the grid-lock of Karma. So yeah, the Aradic Sismic is back. Hmmm, on brain deadness, either I don’t know if I’m really qualified to be the judge of that, or false modesty refrains me from commenting. I do have additional online activity but being this is a fairly anonymous blog, I’d be hard pressed to give more information to this respect. (I am not privacy obsessed though and most of the people who know me IRL would not be too surprised by what I’ve written here). Also, I think you could be cleverly trying to get my other online information to start hammering me with spam, possible having to do with the finest garcinia cambogia extract, in which case I appreciate the personalized approach. Cheers.

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