Opinion pertaining Abby’s self percieved quality of being boring.


So, you’ve managed to bore and/or annoy much more interesting people. Good for you. The thing about people, especially younger more brutish people, is that they are needed. You need them. Your brain is made that way. Your neurochemistry, your neuroendophenotypical expressions, your pre-mammalian structures, everything; is shouting, “people… humans… however unworthy you may be of me, I beg you, please accept me… please love me”. Even people who seem not to care feel this way. Yes, really, in varying degrees, they do. The human brain has evolved this way, it’s the social brain, it has kept all of us and our forefathers throughout the ages alive, or as Homer. J. Simpson would say, “from the dawn of time when our great ancestors had to stay together to fight against dinosaurs in order to survive”. The only ones who really don’t care are psychopaths and thanks to Hollywood’s fascination with them we all know how that goes.

All this is to say that you are right in caring and worrying about how you interact socially, how you affect other people and how they affect you. Well intentioned and caring people you trust will tell you not to think about it too much, that what matters I that you be true to yourself and that some people march to the beat of a different drum. All this is true, but it does not address the point. I will now address the point.

Social interactions will determine the course of many things in your life. How people of different standing view and react to you will influence the attitude they have towards you and the decisions they take. These decisions may affect you, for instance, you are working hard at your acting career; while you may be a great actress, hold great potential and have the grit it takes to endure the process, how others feel working with you will affect the opportunities you’re given. If a cast director feels you disrupt the group’s work dynamic, she may choose to leave you out, if she believes you can’t adapt to a group of actors that’s previously worked well, she may leave you out, if she feels that your presence in the group, however talented you may be, disrupts the emotional environment of the group so as to hinder the work, she may leave you out.

Most people won’t come out and tell you what they think is unbecoming in you, it’s socially unacceptable to do so, which is why we all have to figure it out pretty much on our own. This does not mean we have to become desperate social pleasing chameleons begging for a pat in the back, it means we have to be aware of how our actions and words affect others. Groups, whatever their nature, be it working, social, Harry-Pottermania, or academic ones, have an intrinsic dynamic, each individual holds a place and there is a method to them. Some people seem to understand this in an almost natural way and glide through them while others, in varying degrees, can’t understand what’s going on.

In regard to your initial question. First, decide if you want to be accepted by these people and if the effort is worth your time and energy. If the answer is yes, for your own sake and as part of a personal growing process, understand why they have a certain attitude towards you. If there is something you can and want to change, do it. If you don’t want to or can’t, move on, you seem like a genuinely intelligent and attractive woman, you’ll find social circles better suited for you.

End of opinion. Hope you’re well.


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