On Dating.

I think both views are correct. It is not, I believe, a dichotomic issue. It’s not only up to every person to do what they feel is right, but to learn and trust her feelings through all the advise or opinions put forth. To make it even more interesting or distressing, one can change with experience and different types of dating and relationships develop in your life. I think you can stop seeing someone when it stops being “fun” but I’ve also found out that that’s when emotional meaningfulness comes forth and starts to grow, it is not the good times that make lasting bonds, it’s the difficult and sad times that consolidate our lives with that of others.

You can date to have fun, gain experience or try to know a person as profoundly as possible to finally just move on, or you can be on standby until whoever meets your expectations comes along, either way, it’s going to take a lot of effort to make things work once the initial jitters are over. Ultimately it’s one’s own capacity to love, live, forgive and contribute in creating a mutual life that will make the difference.

So, I would agree with you, Joan, there are people with whom it’s fun to date, others with whom you feel there could be more of a future (whatever that means to each of us) and others with whom it’s just about the sex and intensity. At the same time though, I agree with M. Kundera when he states that our lives are like musical scores, the more you advance on your own, the harder it will be to combine it harmoniously with that of another person.

At this point in my life I feel grateful towards all the women with whom my path has crossed, many of them have made me a better person and some of them stood by me even after I hurt them, teaching me things I never imagined about what it means to love.

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4 thoughts on “On Dating.

  1. When I said that she should stop dating when it stopped being “fun,” what I really meant was, when she stops enjoying being with the guy she is seeing. I understand that relationships are not all lollipops and rainbows every moment, and that there will be emotional times and disagreements. But, when she starts looking for reasons not to see him, or when it (heaven forbid) becomes a chore to see him, it’s time to cut the cord.

    So, I agree with you too!

  2. thank you so much for visiting my blog. i’m glad you “Liked” it (smile). please subscribe for daily sustenance! also, i love this quote you shared from Milan Kundera. so much truth.

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